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The Birth Partner – Penny Simkin

經過媽媽很辛苦的九月懷胎,阿仔終於在四月十四日出世了,比預產期早了兩個星期。原本以為還有時間準備小寶寶的來臨,結果突然穿羊水時還有很多事情未做完,其中一樣便是這本「生育伴侶」只看了一半,於是我唯有臨急抱佛腳,邊看書邊學邊做邊幫手,陪著老婆渡過三十多小時的分娩。我們選擇自然分娩,不像香港人去私家醫院生仔,可以擇好良辰吉日,推入手術室便什麼也不用理。自然分娩的過程很漫長,若果為父親能陪伴著媽媽,在她身旁鼓勵她支持她,生產過程便能更加順利,亦可以留下夫妻珍間貴的共同回憶。

可是當媽媽臨盆在即,沒有經驗的父親往往手足無措,站在一旁不知道該作什麼。雖然有醫護人員在旁,但他們忙於照顧母親,沒有多餘時間為父親解釋。這本書便是寫給那些無助的父親們看,書中很詳細講述分娩的每個程序,母親生理和心理上的變化,醫護人員每個程序會在做什麼,在每個分娩的程序中,可以有什麼醫療上的選擇,以及每種不同選擇的功效和副作用,最重要是在一旁的父親可以做什麼去幫忙。這本書還有很完善的參考指南,可以按在書頁邊印的索引,在父親手忙腳亂的情況下,可以快速找出需要用的資料。

這本書可是自然分娩給父親看的天書,在上產前班時導師特別叫我們看。老實說書中的那些海量的資料,我也不記得最後用得到了多少。反而上產前班學習那些技巧,例如用呼吸法去幫助媽媽減輕痛楚,臨急時自自然然懂拿出用。另外大半時間我只是無甚主見地聽從醫護人員指示,他們叫我幫手做什麼我便去做什麼。不過分娩時我倒常常翻看書中的分娩程序,對照正在發生的事情,看看分娩完成了多少,還有多久小寶寶才會出來。雖然只是得個知字,但至少知道正在發生什麼,心裏總是比較踏實安心。這本書實戰上可能沒多少功用,但分娩時帶著它翻看參考,心理上有個可靠的精神寄託,不會因無知產生恐懼,心裏有條不亂才能有效率地幫助媽媽生產。

3 comments to The Birth Partner – Penny Simkin

  • Hi Horace:

    Congratulation to the arrival of your new family members and I wish you and your partner the best in getting enough sleep 🙂

    Haricot

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Some thoughts:

    The birth of a child marks the transition of a couple’s life from BC to AC (before child, after child). It’s more challenging for the man who can only intellectually “go along for the ride”, as opposed to the mother who actually experiences the physical and emotional rollercoaster for plus or minus 9 months, the labour and birthing pain, the feeding and bonding with the child, etc, and that’s assuming there has been no complications.

    I am not minimizing the role of the man here. In fact, the importance of his support as father/husband to the well-being of the child/mother and the family as a whole must not be underestimated, esp during the period when the woman is focusing her attention more on the child than on the husband.

    But let’s face it. A man may feel ignored, but who can resist not giving the tiny baby the best chance to thrive and survive. The feeling of life and death is almost primal !!!

  • I meant new family member (no twins yet) :O

  • Thanks for the encouragement. I think having a child is the biggest adventure of anyone in his life. We always says we should step outside of the comfort zone in order to succeed, and having a child is a big push away from the comfort zone.

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