Babylon A.D. 巴比倫密碼

Babylon AD 每次我為了看電影而看電影﹐不是因為想看某套電影才去戲院﹐總是失望而回看了套爛片。這個幾個星期我在印度工幹﹐週未晚上沒有任何節目﹐幾個同事便決定去看場電影﹐好過留在酒店發霉。幾個男人沒有理由看劇情片﹐對印度歌舞片也興趣不大﹐剩下荷里活動作電影《巴比倫密碼》是唯一的選擇。

這套電影爛得我差不多不想寫影評﹐Van Dissel飾演未來世界的僱傭兵接了一項任務﹐把一個少女從蒙古的修院護送到紐約。至於少女有什麼特別﹐為什麼全世界也在追殺她﹐故事可能有講但我完全看不明白。整套電影的前四分三勉強合格﹐未來世界的頹癈設定很酷。動作場面一場緊接一場﹐酒吧亡命拳擊比賽﹐在結冰海面爭奪偷渡潛艇的位置﹐雪上電單車決戰無人戰機﹐到最後的紐約街頭混戰﹐畫面刺激火爆算是交足功課。不過動作場面之間欠缺連貫性﹐中間亦沒有任何文戲交待戲情。若果只是這些小問題﹐我倒可以忍受動作電影的通病。

可是電影最尾四分一完全急轉直下﹐少女身世之謎下場怎樣﹐觀眾完全不知道。最要命是不見了主角決戰壞蛋那場最終大戰﹐在一場毫不驚險的追車場面後﹐電影忽然完了﹐好像導演錯手把真正的結尾剪掉。完全場開燈時觀眾罵聲四起﹐很久沒有看過一套爛得如些徹底的電影。若果夾硬要找這套電影的優點的話﹐唯一可以說是楊紫的演出不錯﹐飾演養大少女的修女﹐在戲中展露了幾下功夫身手﹐可惜她的角色一出場﹐妨彿在額頭上已寫著會領便當﹐不過她沒有主角般幸運﹐死了就死了﹐ 不會無端端復活。

印度看電影一般很便宜﹐但我們貪過癮﹐要一試超豪華VIP戲院﹐一張戲票差不多要二十美元﹐大約等於平圴印度人一星期的收入﹐或加拿大一張戲票的兩倍價錢。未開場前等入場不用排隊﹐可以在像酒吧的休息室等候﹐有待應送上果汁和汽水。入場後一看﹐被戲院的豪華級數嚇呆了。戲院的大小與平常可以坐百多人的中型戲院相若﹐可是戲院內只有二十四個坐位﹐全是電動升降椅背的真皮梳化。每張梳化間有張小桌子﹐桌上有個電鈴可以用來召喚服務員﹐隨時送上飲品爆谷小吃。音響當然是無敵強勁﹐大慨除了IMAX外﹐我未去過有更好音效的戲院。雖然電影真的夠爛﹐但我不會高喊退票回水﹐因為享受超豪華戲院﹐已經完全值回票價。

Watching Cricket

Cricket to Indians is like hockey to Canadian. The Australian team is playing the Indian team in Bangalore this week. A cricket match last 4-5 days, and 8 hours per day. The game will start in the morning, then players will have a lunch break, and the game continue until the evening. Since it would be fun to watch a live cricket game, we decided to try out luck at the stadium after lunch yesterday.

When we arrived at the stadium, the ticket is already sold out. We were a bit disappointed, so the driver offered to help us get some tickets from the scalper. He left the car disappeared into the crowd for a few minutes, then come back with the scalper with him. The scalper is selling us three tickets for 3000 Rupee. We thought its a bit too expensive, so he lower it down to 2000 Rupee. We still think it’s too much and we counter offer him 1500 Rupee. Which is what we original budget for the game. CAD$10 for a few hours of game. Not bad. So we got our tickets, sent our driver away and ready to have some fun.

When we arrive at the gate, we found out the tickets turn out to be used. It’s OK, because the ticket come with the return pass allowing ticket holder go out and get back into the stadium. However we only got two return pass, one return pass is missing. We played dumb with the door man, pulled our innocent tourist card and eventually he let us go inside. When we arrive at the seats, it turns out 2 tickets belong to one section and another ticket belong to another section. Again, we play dumb and pulled our innocent tourist card, all three of us get into the seats. The seats are very good, we were sitting on the 3rd row right behind the camera men. We watched the game until the end of the day, get almost 2 hours of good cricket action. The pace of the game is quite slow, probably it is as exciting as base ball. It really test my patient spending two hours watching the Indian team getting 100 points, trying to catch up with the 450 points Australian team got in the 1st inning.

At the end of the day, every one is happy. The scalper is happy for turning an handsome profit on some garbage paper. The driver is happy for getting a cut from the scalper. We are happy for watching an international cricket game at prime location seats. We get to experienced two India trademark experience first handed in a single cricket game. We got ripped off big time by the scalper and we got bored by watching the endless bowl and bat in a cricket game. One stone shooting down two birds.

Bargaining

As an engineer, a market perfectionist, an inspired to-be-economist, I hate bargaining. Bargaining is a very inefficient way of trade. The sellers use their advantage of having asymmetric information of the transaction price, getting buyers to pay more they should have. In a perfect transparent market, where everyone knows want everyone else pays, there should not be any room for bargaining. Every buyers should get the same good deal at the market equilibrium. Bargaining not only is a waste of time, it also distorting the market price burden the buyers with additional transaction cost. In short, bargaining is evil. In Indian, you simply can’t buy anything without bargaining, that’s another proof Indian culture is backward.

However, for the first time, I find the joy of bargaining. Bargaining is still evil, but at least if you get are lemons, you can still make some lemonade. Here is the story. Today, I went to MG road, the tourist district in Bangalore, with my colleagues to shop for gifts to bring home. On the street, there is a young boy selling wooden chess set. The chess set is not very pretty, the craftsmanship is kinda rough. One of my colleagues is interested to get one for his son, so he asked for the price. The young boy open his offer with 1500 Rupee. We thought we were quite savvy in bargaining, we slash the prince to 1/3 and make him a 500 Rupee counter offer. The bargaining going back and forth for a while, at last the colleague bought the chess set for 600 Rupee. 60% off from the initial price, we thought that was not bad. The boy try to sell another chess set to another colleague, but we just walked pass an interesting shop, so we enter the shop and ignored him.

We spend quite some time in the shop looking at things. To our surprise, when we come out, the boy is still there waiting for us. Trying to sell us another chess set. We keeps saying we don’t want to buy another set. Then the boy slash the price to 500 Rupee, our original offer. Mmm… if things start getting interesting. If he lower the price, it means there is room for more cuts. I decide to test the limit and see how low can I get. Here the games of bargaining begins. I don’t really want the chess set, so I counter offer him 100 Rupee to see what happen. To keep the story short, the boy followed us for the next hour, when we enter a shop, he just waited outside patiently and continue the bargain on our way from one shop to another. At the end, after I had enough fun and it’s almost time for dinner, I settle make a deal with him at 200 Rupee. The money is not really for buying the chess set, rather it is to reward him keeping us entertained for over a hour. It is only 1/3 the price of what my colleague paid! We laughed at the poor colleague for being ripped off the whole night. We joked that we should have a bargaining competition for those come to Bangalore. Everyone has to buy a chess set from MG road and see who is the king of bargaining.

Here is the moral of the story. 1) Counter offering 1/5 is still too high, you should start from 1/10 as the new default value. 2) If the seller agrees to your price, it means your price is too high. You know you can go lower. 3) Time is money, the longer you bargain, the lower the price. If I have enough time, I think I could bargain it down to 100 Rupee. I suspect the boy can sell it for 50 Rupee and still make a profit. 4) Don’t counter offer at once, let him cut the prince first. 5) Bargaining is fun because you can make your over-paid friend looks like a fool! Probably I still have over paid for buying the chess at 200 Rupee, but the bragging right to make fun of your friend is priceless.

Red Storm Rising 紅潮風暴 – Tom Clancy

Red Strom Rising 第一次看Tom Clancy的小說是很多年前的事﹐那時我十分喜歡辛康納利主演的《追擊赤十月》﹐看完電影後便急不及待從老父的書櫃找原著來讀。當年我還是只個中學生﹐英文水平馬馬虎虎﹐在看得明與不明之間﹐把整本小說硬啃下去。現在已經記不起原著好不好看﹐好像是情節﹐反而電影版的情節倒印象深刻。我常常以為自己很喜歡Tom Clancy﹐其實也只不過是看了後來兩套夏理遜福當Jack Ryan的電影﹐之後他的一本小說也沒讀過。不過老父倒是Tom Clancy迷﹐當年兩父子看電影時﹐他如數家珍地講Jack Ryan的故事﹐從小特工如何一直升上去當美國總統。我印象中老父說過Tom Clancy的眾多小說中﹐第二本著作《紅潮風暴》寫得最好﹐可是亦是最艱深最難讀。大慨從那時開始﹐這本小說便加入我腦內的必讀書單上。很多次想過買來看也因種種原因作罷﹐轉眼過了十幾年也一直沒有機會看這本小說﹐。想不到去渡蜜月坐遊輪﹐船上的圖書館剛巧有這本書﹐反正在船上閒著沒事幹﹐便借了下來以極速趕在上岸前讀完。

家父說得沒錯﹐這本小說真的很難讀。不過今時今日的我已非當年的中學生﹐讀英文磚頭小說已是如履平地。我雖算不上是軍事迷﹐但自問軍事常識不錯﹐足以應付小說中的大量軍事述語。不過《紅潮風暴》我還是看得頗為吃力﹐除了平時上哲學課的教科書外﹐大慨這是近年我讀過最傷腦筋的書。小說難讀不是因為寫得差﹐而是因為實在有太多資料要吸收記憶。故事有十多條主線平衡發展﹐平均每二三頁便轉換焦點人物一次。每條主線的故事互相緊扣﹐交織出美蘇第三次世界大戰的前因後果與來龍去脈。若讀者果少點記憶力﹐在看一條主線時﹐忘記另外那些主線發生的事情﹐恐怕會如墮八里雲霧中﹐完全看不到故事正在發生什麼事情。這本小說對讀者的要求非常嚴格﹐要有良好的閱讀和綜合分析能力﹐才可以把所有主線整合﹐從中看到整個戰局的戰況變化。

《紅潮風暴》的主戰場在德國爆發﹐蘇聯因油井受到恐怖襲擊﹐導至國內能源供應嚴重短缺﹐於是決定打中東石油的主意。攻佔中東產油國不是問題﹐最大問題是如何防止西方國家插手。於是紅軍便先發制人﹐發動西德侵略戰﹐務求在進軍中東前﹐完全摧毀北約的軍力。故事的規模十分龐大﹐主要角色多達十多人﹐從對戰雙方的角度去描述戰況的發展。作戰細節很詳盡真實﹐這場戰役的關鍵﹐是在於北約能否保護大西洋航道﹐從美國本土運輸彈藥兵源來增援﹐堅守西德防線直到紅軍耗盡燃油。承續他上一部小說的傳統﹐在潛艇與反潛艇戰是其中一個描述重點。這部小說更加入陸戰和空戰元素﹐成為絕少數海陸空全方位的軍事小說。地面是決定勝負關鍵的主戰場﹐海軍則是陸軍的生命線。空軍的任務是攻擊敵方和保護己方的的陸軍海軍。在空戰中搶鐘的戰鬥機並不主角﹐只不過是為環繞攻擊機的衍生品。破壞敵方陸軍海軍的攻擊機﹐才是空軍的真正主角。現實的空戰沒有電影中的精彩纏鬥戰﹐大部份時間只是在玩躲迷藏遊戲﹐看誰先找到敵方誰便贏。除了軍事上的描述外﹐這本小說對蘇聯共黨內政治角力也有深入的描述。其中莫斯科兵變那一場最精彩﹐Tom Clany對軍隊和政治的關係有精辟獨到的見解。

雖然小說中的美蘇第三次世界大戰口是虛構出來﹐但Tom Clancy小說的魅力超真實的戰況抽述。他不像其他軍事小說般﹐單從前線戰鬥人員描寫戰況的慘烈﹐也不是如三國演義般描寫將領如何談笑用兵。他小說的主角並不是任何一個人物﹐而是整場戰爭本身﹐人物只不過用來串連起所有事件的載體。看Tom Clancy的小說最有趣的地方﹐就是作者非常豐富的軍事知識﹐就像在看軍事百科全書。他的小說更顛覆很多一直以來習以為常﹐建立於傳統戰爭的軍事理論。要到十多年後的波斯灣戰爭﹐展現首次高科技現代化戰爭的力量﹐才證明他的小說是超越時代的軍事預言。

Toilet Papar

Before I come to Indian, I heard that Indians don’t use toilet paper, they use their left hand. I thought it was a joke or it is stories from last centuries. Now I am in Indian, I can confirm the story is true. In a typical Indian toilet, you won’t find any toilet paper. Instead, you get a tap and a water bucket in each stall. After you had done your business, you can use the water bucket and your left hand to clean your butt. In some more advance toilet, it has a hose with shower head, so you can wash your butt more thoroughly than using a water bucket. I only find toilet paper is provided in hotels or fine dining restaurants with lots of foreigner customers.

No only that Indians don’t use toilet paper, they don’t even know what toilet paper is. The toilet paper in the guest house is running low, so I asked the maid to get me some new toilet paper. Guess what I got? I got kitchen paper towels! Flushing those thing down will guarantee a flooding toilet. Luckily, my box kleenex save the day. My highest priority task for this weekend is to get some toilet paper for the guest house from the super market.