Depression used to be a foreign concept to me, I don’t remember I feel really unhappy for an extended persion of time since the I have memory. Just somehow I don’t feel right for the past week and it getting worse, probably the worst today. Last time when I feel sad was when I got dumped by my ex-girlfriend in university days, but this timing the feeling is different. I can explain what happened back then and I’m totally aware what I was doing and allow it to happen. This time just that I can’t really jusitify my sadness, and can’t really figure out the cause of it. I have several clues but none of them or even all of them combined seems bad enough to turn me down like this. I’m looking forward to have a great day of ski in Whistler tomorrow, as my 5 days vacation begins. Hope I’ll feel better tomorrow.
procrastination
I think I am having the problem of procrastination. I just keep delay the work I have to do until the last minute, and already not follow the schedule I set up myself. As I’m reading in the Zen and the Art of Motercycle Maintenance, the root cause can be due to anxiety, anxious to get the work done well and end up not starting on it. I think I should have just do it, don’t think too much on how good or bad it will be at the end. Mmm… I should also pray to the Holy Spirit for changes on my lack of discipline too. Hope the baptize in the Holy Spirit from last week really work and will change me to a better person.
relaxing weekend
I had a pretty relaxing weekend. Originally I planned to go to Whistler with Pat to try out her new snowboard, but at the end my friends planed the ski trip. So I end up stay here in Vancouver and have a date with Pat. We went to lunch, movie, then dinner yesterday, and church and had a hair cut today. My new hair style is pretty short, looks kinda weird. We also tried out the new shaved ice place in Aberdeen center, quite tasty, very different from normal shaved ice. Highly recommanded.
go-cart and slain by the spirit, not!
Several things happened today. We had the tape-out party in the afternoon, the whole team went to play go-cart. It is the at usual go-cart place I go in Richmond. We have 24 people and the final race is divided into 3 groups. My speed is fast enough to make it to the first division. At one point I’s holding the second place, and ready to over take the first guy. Unfortunately, I got ramped, felt muscle stress in my left leg and have to slow down. Anyways, it’s pretty fun.
Tonight I went to the LLS with Pat, and it is the night of baptized by the holy spirit. During the pray over session, people fell down as seen in TV. I’m not one of them, and I’m a bit disappointed as I did spent time to read the novenas in the past week. Pat had fell and relax on the floor for quite a long time. The only thing I felt was I had breathed in some really cool air. Maybe that’s already the holy spirit, or maybe I’m just insulate to it, God knows.
I left my bag tonight at ice-cream shop. Hope the shop had kept it and waiting for me to pick it up.
sneeze
Ahh… Choo… Somehow I just keep sneezing all night tongiht, after I had a single badminton game with Edwin. I try to control my sneeze during the game and got my eyes all watery. The worst part is that you can feel your nose is very itchy but somehow you just can’t sneeze it out. Without kleenex make the situation worse as I keep sniffling to stop my snivel dropping out. It isn’t fun at all. I guess I’ll go to sleep early tonight after a cup of hot neo-critus, hope I’ll be fine when I wake up the next morning.