Daily Scribble

Old friends

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It has been many years since I spend time in Toronto.  Last time I came back for my friend’s wedding, I only stayed for a weekend.  I did not even have enough time for my family, so I could not see most of my friends.  I saw many friends in the wedding, but it is hard to talk during the banquet.  It is too noisy and has too much distraction to talk about work, family and life in general.  It takes a relaxing environment to talk about those touchy topics. This time I came back for another friend’s wedding and staying almost a week and I finally have the chance to catch up with them. My schedule is fully booked everyday to have lunch, dinner and drinks after dinner with my old friends.

We went to school together, we are about the same age, we are experience the same stage of life, so we share many common worries. I envy some aspect of their life and they envy some other aspect my life. It seems grass just is always greener on the other side. Some of my friends stuck in a technical job with relatively good pay but not much visibility about the future in ten years just like me. Some of my friends starting start-up to pursuit their dreams. Some of my friends left the industry and working on something totally different. Talking to my friends gives me some thoughts about my life plan and at the same time makes me learn to treasure the gifts I already have.

Out of all my friends, one made a pretty interesting career move. Guess what, he started a condom shop! We are all wondering, does he QA all the products sold in the shop himself? Maybe that’s why he never bring his girlfriend to the reunions. He knew we will ask very embarrassing questions. We are a whole bunch of engineers after all.

Daily Scribble

In memory of Charlie

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charlie

Charlie Chan-Ma (1995-2009), after several months of suffering from cancer, it left us quietly yesterday.  Charlie is the most adorable and most lovely Golden Retriever in this world.  Living with it changed my view on dogs and pets.  I used to hold the traditional Chinese view on dogs, which have only two functions, guard the house and as a delicacy.  Meeting Charlie let me know the love of dogs and learn to be a responsible pet owner.

Charlie was Pat’s dog, it grew up with her and married along with her into the Chan’s family. I became Charlie’s step father and I was helping Pat to take care of it. I met Charlie on the same day I first met Pat. Charlie was our match maker. It was a church group BBQ gathering on a beach. My first impression about Pat was the girl with a big dog. “Does your dog eat chicken wing” was my pick up line. I always had been allergic to dogs since a little kid, but I didn’t have allergy on Charlie. Charlie witnessed me and Pat getting together and walking into the church. We wanted to make Charlie our ring bearer in our wedding ceremony, but too bad it was already too weak to stand up for a long time and walk the aisle along with us.

Pat and I had many memories with Charlie. We went to cycling in Stanley Park with Charlie running behind our bicycle. We had ice-cream in Denman Street and used Charlie as my food stool. Charlie was the perfect foot warmer in a cold winter night when watching TV. We spent many great time walking it in the park, played fetch and caught with Charlie. Charlie also took away many of my first times. My first time picking up his poo; my first time cleaning up his mess on the carpet. It also took away my kiss on my wedding day before I kissed the bride.

In memory of Charlie, I always wanted to turn its body into a dog skin rug, like those tiger skin rug, for our sofa (Pat is dropping sweat while reading this line). Pat doesn’t think it is a good idea plus it is already too late, the body is already cremated. Maybe we could name our future son Charles Chan in memory of Charlie. If there is reincarnation, I believe Charlie will incarnate to be our son to continue the predestined affinity.  Goodbye Charlie, may you rest in peace.

Daily Scribble

Missing chapters in college days

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Block university has a applied disablity study program that is related to Pat’s studies in autism, so we drove to St. Catherine to take a look at the university campus.  Comparing to the huge campus of UBC, Block seems very small.  Even SFU or Waterloo seems big comparing to the several connecting buildings that is all of Block’s campus.  The university campus store can tell you a lot about the character of the university.  I checked out the textbook of the philosophy courses;  I think Block’s philosophy department is much tougher than SFU’s.  The readings are mostly original materials, unlike the comprehension textbooks use in SFU.

When I am browsing the titles in the university bookstore, I realized what I missed in my college days.  Like those portrayed in movies or novels, university suppose to be a place for the quest of knowledge.  Students should carry those thick wordy books around, then they sit under the sun and talk about the wildest ideas.  They would have many complaints against the society, the government, the corporate, basically complain about the adult world in general.  They dream about the future and talk about how they would make a change.  Thinking back what I have done in my university days, it seems my time outside of classroom are mostly wasted.  I just spent endless nights playing Warcraft with friends in the computer lab, went to Karaoke and get drunk on the many weekends.  I should have read more books, pretend to be more intellectual and maybe even join some movement for a noble cause.

兩週一聚

兩週一聚﹕世界觀

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前言﹕這是一個叫「兩周一聚」的活動。是網友米雪兒發起。每月十五日﹑三十日﹐一班住在世界不同角落的香港人都會一起寫同一個題目。今天是第十三次相聚，由 tzigane 出題，主題定為「世界觀」。

每一個人的世界觀也不相同﹐有些人的世界觀來自家庭文化背景﹐有些人的世界觀來自他們的宗教信仰。細想我的世界觀從何而來﹐大慨是通過我閱讀的書藉﹐逐點逐點吸收書本中的想法﹐潛移默化下薰荼成為自己的想法。

不計算兒童時代看的童話故事﹐最早影響我日後想法的書﹐就是衛斯理的科幻小說。五年級看第一本衛斯理﹐小學未畢業已看罷全套。用現在的眼光來看﹐衛斯理的科幻小說其實不入流。不過衛斯理的世界觀﹐已經烙印在我年紀輕輕的腦海中。世界有很多未知的事物﹐也許日常生活中不會遇見外星人﹐幽靈﹐巫術﹐鬼神﹐但不代表那些事物不可能存在。所以我們應該要開放心靈﹐去迎接任何有可能發生的事情。

中二的時候我遇上了金庸﹐這次只用了四個月時間便讀完十四部天書﹐再在餘下的半年重覆讀了不只數次。很多人說第一本看的金庸﹐足以影響所以金庸作品的印象。不知道算幸還是不幸﹐當年我從父親書櫃隨手拿起第一本金庸竟然是《鹿鼎記》﹐金庸的最後一本作品﹐亦是一本反武俠傳統的武俠小說。我學不到郭倩的忠義﹐學不到楊過的深情﹐學不到令狐沖的瀟灑﹐倒學了韋小寶的是非道德觀。國家民族意識薄弱﹐行事不受道德教條規範束縛﹐不過還能分清楚大是大非。

不記得是中四還是中五那年﹐逛中華書局時隨意翻開田中芳樹的《銀河英雄傳說》。讀了序章後放不釋手﹐於是捧了一套二十本小說回家。這套小說不只是流行科幻小說﹐可以說是政治學教材﹐改寫一整代年輕人的思潮。楊威利對萊茵哈特﹐民主對獨裁﹐自由對極權﹐正義對正義。就算現在網上參與政治議題的討論﹐久不久也會看見有人引用楊威利的名言。中國的憤青也許應該讀讀這小說﹐讀完後或許他們不會再盲目崇拜大中國主義。不論是陳一諤的六四歪理﹐還是成龍的中國人太自由﹐也可以從楊威利的想思找到答案。

受到衛斯理的啟蒙﹐我愛上看真正的科幻小說﹐科幻小說大師阿西莫夫更是我的最愛。在加拿大讀高校的時候﹐在學校圖書館借了本《永恆的終結》。這本小說在眾多阿西莫夫的小說中並出名﹐沒有《基地系列》或《機械人系列》的宏觀世界﹐好像現在還絕版了﹐想買也買不到。故事講述人類發明了時光機﹐可以返回過去改寫歷史﹐把人類所犯的錯誤統統修正。最後結局很曲拆離奇﹐人類的最大錯誤便是發明了時光機﹐令人類不再犯錯﹐亦同時奪去了人類從錯誤中成長的可能性。時光機的最後任務便是返回過去﹐阻止愛因斯坦研究時光機理論﹐取而代之促成核子彈的研究。讓人類可以從戰爭中成長﹐最終成為宇宙的統治者。現在很多人認為新科技帶來新問題﹐他們認為這些新科技最好沒有出現。他們忘記了只有以科技才能解決科技的問題。若果不去面對克服這些問題﹐人類最終就會像小說中的平衡宇宙般﹐呆坐守著這個地球等待死亡的來臨。

從大學開始我每星期也看《經濟學人》雜誌﹐大學中的選修課也讀了經濟學﹐更是由明星級教授Larry Smith任教。雖然不是主修經濟學﹐深一點的經濟學分析看不明白﹐但作為一個經濟人的基本思維﹐早已深深扎根在我的腦袋裏。我在經濟學和政治哲學是典型右派主場﹐反對政府干預和支持自由市場。在報章或網上看見持左派思想的人寫的文章﹐我總會不期然分析批評他們文章中謬誤。現在工餘時修讀哲學﹐讀過馬克思的原著﹐左派自由主義的理論﹐看法開始有一點改變。左派想思並不是完全一無可取﹐左派的出現是嘗試去解決右派思想中的一些問題﹐而那些問題也是確切的存在。只是左派除了指出問題外﹐還嘗試提供一套解決方法。只可惜那些解決方法並不可行﹐只會衍生比問題本身更加嚴重的新問題。

近幾年開始修讀哲學﹐對世界觀這個問題有新的體會。在課程中我學習認識不同的世界觀﹐大慨所有人世界觀的組成﹐都可以分別追朔到某一個哲學家的某一個想法。當我每學期修讀新一科哲學課﹐接觸新的哲學思想﹐也會讓我的世界觀會產生變化。我一直以為自己十分反對某些哲學思想﹐在讀完那科明白那些思想的正確解讀後﹐卻發現自己的思考模式原來一直也受其思想影響。我有一個念頭希望能夠實踐﹐就是把自己世界觀的思想地圖繪畫出來﹐從開始到終結追蹤我所有想法的來龍去脈。這是一個非常具野心的計劃﹐可以說是作為自我存在的終極反思。這個計劃剛剛邁出了第一步﹐不是指這篇文章﹐而是指我安裝了Wiki並正學習使用﹐打算用來記錄我的哲學筆記﹐以便可以重組出我的思考地圖。

其他文章﹕ The Man Who Loves Everton、chilli mom 、Haricot、wanni、HumptiDumpti、longqt、周游、lomichee、Nankin、洛言、Michelle、軍師奶、讀食、hevangel、athrunz、Mugen C、coffee、芸、kempton、mad dog、火羽

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Daily Scribble

The process or the result

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I have a friend quited her job and went to study MBA planned for a career change.  Very unfortunately, now she graduate right in the middle of the fiancial crisis.  Jobs opening is drying up everywhere, especially on the traditional MBA related industries.  This year is a very though time for a MBA graduate.  Luckily, although she quited when she went back to school, she is able to get back her old job.  It seems things is not changed at all for her, except she lost a year of salary, the accumulated benefits and got a huge debt for the tuition.

If we are just looking at the result, yes, she seems to be worse off than before.  However, there are many things cannot be quantified with a dollar sign.  Instead of seeing it as a failed attempt of career change, it can be seen as a sabbatical.  My friend always dreamed to study aboard and experience a different country.  That was her last chance to experience the school life full time before she is too old to enjoy that.  The course work she learned in school might not be very useful, but who knows what might come in handy one day.  Most important of all is she had tried to go after her dream.  No matter what is the outcome, she won’t have any regrets.  Maybe when she look back in 10 years, her decision quitting her job to go back to school will have a different perspective.