Hope is one of the three virtues, and it is an indespensable element of life. If you have a dream and striving for it, you know there is always a way out regardless of the current state. I found the emptiness feeling inside me fades away as I stop wasting time and focus to get my goal accomplished. It took Titanic three and a half hour to sink after it hit the icebery, I wonder how much longer can PMC stays afloat. I need to get myself ready to jump the boat before the final moment comes.
Tag Archives: faith
tongue
Tonight in the Life in the Spirit Seminar, for a moment I thought I had received the gift of interpreting tongues. I was a bit shocked and excited when I hear plain English during the tongue prayer. It turn out that it is a false alarm, the person actually did insert English into the prayer. What a bummer.
This afternoon when I got so tried in studying, I re-arranged my toy display a little bit. I transformed and posed my Optimus Prime from truck mode to robot mode. I found a sense of peace in my toys, they makes me temporary forget all my worries and stress, and feel like being a child. The Bible says only those who are like children can go to heaven. I think having toy collecting as hobbies will bring one closer to salvation.
procrastination
I think I am having the problem of procrastination. I just keep delay the work I have to do until the last minute, and already not follow the schedule I set up myself. As I’m reading in the Zen and the Art of Motercycle Maintenance, the root cause can be due to anxiety, anxious to get the work done well and end up not starting on it. I think I should have just do it, don’t think too much on how good or bad it will be at the end. Mmm… I should also pray to the Holy Spirit for changes on my lack of discipline too. Hope the baptize in the Holy Spirit from last week really work and will change me to a better person.
go-cart and slain by the spirit, not!
Several things happened today. We had the tape-out party in the afternoon, the whole team went to play go-cart. It is the at usual go-cart place I go in Richmond. We have 24 people and the final race is divided into 3 groups. My speed is fast enough to make it to the first division. At one point I’s holding the second place, and ready to over take the first guy. Unfortunately, I got ramped, felt muscle stress in my left leg and have to slow down. Anyways, it’s pretty fun.
Tonight I went to the LLS with Pat, and it is the night of baptized by the holy spirit. During the pray over session, people fell down as seen in TV. I’m not one of them, and I’m a bit disappointed as I did spent time to read the novenas in the past week. Pat had fell and relax on the floor for quite a long time. The only thing I felt was I had breathed in some really cool air. Maybe that’s already the holy spirit, or maybe I’m just insulate to it, God knows.
I left my bag tonight at ice-cream shop. Hope the shop had kept it and waiting for me to pick it up.
funeral
I went to a funeral tonight, the mother of my girlfriend’s friend had passed away due to cancer. The celemony is held in Catholic rituals. Usually I feel a bit uneasy going to funeral, but today I don’t have such feeling. Probably it is because the funeral is just a mass in the church I used to go to, the only difference is this time we got a corpse. I’m surprise to see that many people come to the service, the church is all packed, almost as crowd as in sunday morning. The old lady passed away peacefully, waited until she met all her loved ones. I think she must be a person to have such a blessed death. In her memorial presenation, it captured her thoughts in her last day. She didn’t question God why he gave her the cancer. Instead she said her life is in the hand of God, and it is already a gift to her to live one more day. Compare to similair sayings I usualy hear from other churches, when they talk about life is in the hand of God in the incident of other’s death. This time the words are from the heart of a suffered person with faith, no one can question her motivation. On the other hand, when someone other than the suffered one say those words, especially to the those who questions God’s about the death, all I can see is just a cold-blooded boiler plate peacher with no love. It’s hard to explain the subtle difference between these two, but that’s my inspiration of the day.
confession
I went to confession this morning. It’s the first time I confess in regular church confession hours instead of the unformal confession in the yearly church camp. I have to confess all sins because I am taking theLife in Spirit Seminar, and in order to receive the holy spirit this friday I have to make lots of preparation. I had recite prayers everyday. I’m afraid I have recited more prayers in the past week than I had in my whole life. (Well… prayers in school doesn’t count) I don’t really know what the LSS will lead me to, but one thing I’m pretty sure is that I don’t want to be yet another lame charismatic christians I look down on. It would be cool if God can turn me into a new hybrid of charismatic and liberal christian. Isn’t it an interesting use of tongue to drive the reform and progress of the church instead of clinging to the old days?