Category Archives: Daily Scribble

My random thoughts of the day.

How to buy a gun

This is a speech prepared for the Toastmaster humorous speech contest.

A woman walked into a gun shop and said to the shop keeper, “I would like to buy a gun for my husband.” The woman said she don’t know much about guns and ask for some advice. The shop keeper then asked her, “What type of guns your husband likes?” The woman said, “Are you kidding? He doesn’t even know I am going to shoot him!”

Mr. Chair, fellow Toastmasters, when you walk into a gun shop, you don’t to be as clueless as the woman in the story. Today I am going to give you some tips on how to buy a gun.

First you decide what type of guns you want to buy by asking yourself what targets are you going to shoot? Paper target, sports clay, wild games or your mother in law. You need to buy the right gun for the right target. Rifles for far away target, handguns for close combat, and shotguns for anything that flies.

Buying guns is like buying shoes, you have to try it out to find the one that fits you. You may have to try out many guns before finding one that is comfortable to use. Pick up the gun, pretend you are Bruce Willis in Die Hard, imagine you are fighting a group of terrorist. You want to make sure your gun feels like an natural extension of your hand at all time.

The next tips is specially for the ladies or any fashionable gentlemen. Guns come in different colors, such as black polyester, dark blue steel finish, shiny silver nickel finish, fine-wood walnut finish, marine camouflage in different shades of green. You may want to pick a gun that matches your dressing style. When you are holding a gun, how cool you look is as important as how good you shoot.

Last time when I went to the gun shop, I overheard a conversation between two hunters. The first hunter asked the second one, “Why do you hunt without bullets?” The second hunter replied, “It is much cheaper and the result are the same.” I am sure my fellow Toastmasters are much better shooters than the second hunter, so you may want to buy some bullets. Buying bullets require some delicate knowledge, you have to know how to read numbers. All you have to do is read the caliber marking on the gun and find the bullets that match the number.

A single bullet is not expensive, but if you plan to do lots of shooting, the ammunition bill may add up quite high.  Do you know that you can get bullets in every day low price at Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart carries a huge selection of bullets. If you buy in bulk, you may even get volume discount.

Let me ask you a question. What will you do if you catch you teenager son buying dirty magazines? I will tell him buying dirty magazines is wrong, because it may jam your gun. In a gun shop, a magazine is not something for you to read, it is something that holds extra bullets. It is always wise to have a few spare magazine with you. You don’t want to find yourself run out of ammo in the middle of a shooting.

Now you have buy your gun, some bullets and a few magazine. You are ready to shoot. But wait a second, let me tell you a real story of how not to use a gun. In 1990, a Seattle man named David Zaback got a gun from the black market. He decided to turn make some quick bucks. He walked in to shop, pointed his gun at the shop keeper and ask for money. However, he made a big mistake, he picked to the wrong shop. He was trying to rob a gun store! He was shot dead right on the spot by the shop keeper and other customers. Remember, don’t do stupid things with your gun. Happy Shooting.

Practice attitude

We have a foosball table in the game room at work.  We have a group foosball friends usually go to the game room after lunch to have some fun.  Some of us had played foosball in school, have really good skills, while the others play foosball the first time here at work.  We have been playing foosballalmost  daily over a year, practice really improves our skill.  I started as a novice player, but now I can pretty much rule the table playing against an average player.

We play foosball just to relax between work, most of us play casually to have fun.  Somehow one of my friends takes foosball quite serious.  Foosball suppose is not an vigorous game, you just have to stand next the to table doing nothing other than rotating your wrists, but this guy manage to sweat like playing a basketball game and totally exhausted after playing foosball.  I think most of us play the same amount of games.  Because this guy play really seriously every day, his skill improve much faster than us.  He started as a novice, now he is probably the best player in the group.

The more you practice the better you become, but the attitude of how you practice can make a big difference.  If you want to be good at something, not only that you have to do it a lot, you have to do it seriously.

How to order in all you can eat sushi restaurant

Many of us go to all you can eat sushi restaurants.  Ordering food could become a headache when the table is too big.  There are over hundreds of items in the menu, everyone has different preference, but we only got one ordering sheet.  So what is the most efficient way to order food?

One obviously approach is going through the list one item at a time, ask people to raise their hand and vote on how many dishes of each item should order.  This approach is very inefficient, it takes forever to go through the list while we are starving.  When the food comes, people forgot what they have ordered, so they just grab whatever they feel like eating regardless whether they have ordered it or not.  This approach forget that we can submit order more than once.  Regardless what we order in the first round, we’ll have to order the second or the third round.  Why being so picky on the first order?

A better way to order all you can eat sushi is using pipeline and narrow it down approach.  The goal of the first round is minimize the turn around time instead of getting an accurate order.  Someone just order something everyone loves, like the most expensive item on the menu, sashima or popular sushi rolls, the lowest common denominator.  Get the order into the kitchen to get the ball rolling, so that the food can show in the shortest amount of time.  While we are waiting for the first order to show up, we have more than enough time to vote on the remaining items in the menu.  Using this approach, everyone gets to eat what they like within the shortest amount of time waiting with an empty stomach.

Running the Number

What is it in the photo?

426k phone

Zoom in a bit closer.

phone zoom in

It is 426000 old cell phones Americans discard every day. The photo created by Artist Chris Jordan in his Running the Number Series showing at the Paul Kopeikin Gallery in Los Angeles. Chris Jordan try to give a new perspective of American statistics in this series by giving the number a visual meaning.

I admire his effort to increasing the public awareness of many social issues through his creative artwork.  However, just like plain old statistic on paper can lie, statistic represent in photos can also lie.  Chris twists the reality to deliver the stunting visual effect, just impress the audience without giving any meaningful interpretation of the statistics. He pick an arbitrarily very very large number to aggregate the statistic for his photos. Yet he forgot a simple fact, US has over 3 billion population. A photo full of old cell phones looks scary, but you do the math, it is only one new cell phone per person every two years, which is quite reasonable.

Here is my art work depicts half a cell phone, equal to the number of cell phones retired per person in the US every year.

.half phone

See, old cell phone is not that scary after all if you represent the statistic in the right way.

Book club

Joining a book club is one of the best way to force yourself to finish a book, especially those difficult to read non-fictions not writing with the general public in mind.  It is like taking a distant course with weekly assigned readings and follow up discussion.  Fellow book club members makes you feel good that you are not reading alone.  The book club reads only one or two chapters each week.   The pace is just right, not too fast nor not too slow, or you won’t have time to absorb the materials.  You can’t read too many pages of those non-fiction difficult title in one sitting anyways or you will start falling asleep.  Reading with a book club gives you discipline to actually finish the book.

I joined a book club starting in the summer, reading “A History of Christian Thoughts” by Paul Tillich.  Then I joined another book club reading the Philosophy of Law starting September.  Both book clubs are really good, the books I am reading are very interesting.  The only problem is I think I am too greedy. Catching up with the reading takes quite some amount of time every week.  I don’t think I can handle two reading club at the same time.  Maybe I should consider dropping one book club.