Farewell Bangalore

It is my third time visiting Bangalore. The city still sucks and I don’t have any pleasant experience with it. However, I am getting over all my uneasiness of India and become indifference to the surroundings. I just came to release Bangalore is the forth city I spent most time of my life. I spent almost 3 months here for my three trips combined. Only after Hong Kong, where I was born, Canada, where I grew up and California, where I worked and visit once a while.

Compare to my first two trips, this time I have a very difference altitude returning to India. I come here to work and I get away once my work is done. I did not take many photos this time, only beer pictures with my colleagues at dinner. I no longer amused by the strange sights in India. Cows on the streets and rush hour traffic madness seems so common to me. I still got ripped off a few times, but I laugh at my stupidity and learn the lesson instead of feeling anguish about my lost. I have confirmed my bias and stereotypes about Indian culture and I learned how to cope with it. Just don’t take anything for granted in this country. They can screw things up in the most unimaginable way. I still hate Bangalore, but I am getting accustom to it.

Maid Guy 假面女僕衛士

Maid Guy 近年日本動畫萌風泛濫﹐很多動畫角色的設計沒有靈魂﹐只是像藥材舖執藥般把萌屬性堆切一些角色出來。結果大部份動畫的角色都千篇一律﹐不過是更換些少屬性改少許造型。這種以屬性配對創造角色的方法﹐偶然也會出現令人咋舌﹐完全預期不到的特別效果。《假面女僕衛士》的主角枯木﹐便是把肌肉男和女僕這兩個牛馬不相同的屬性﹐混合一起創造出來的角色。單是看枯木的角色設計﹐已經可以預期這套動畫會走瘋狂惡搞的搞笑路線。

這套動畫基本上沒有什麼主線﹐每集都是獨立單完﹐內容環繞著富士原兩姊弟的生活。話說富士原姊弟的爺爺是超級大富豪﹐亦同時是個有女僕癖的色老頭。爺爺為了保護和照顧兩姊弟﹐派了兩個女僕來他們家。正確點來說﹐應該是一個女僕和一個穿女僕裝的男僕。女僕吹雪比較正常﹐除了一般女僕的屬性外﹐只是加入忍者屬性。至於男僕枯木則完全顛倒人物設計的邏輯﹐把所有不可能的屬性混合在一起。這套動畫是不可以用常識來理解﹐枯木在上個鏡頭給打到全身爆血﹐下個鏡頭可以像沒發生過事一樣已是小兒科。觀眾更加千萬別勿深究枯木的特異功能從來而來﹐不要問為什麼他可以從耳後拉條USB電線出來﹐也不要問他的頭髮為什麼可以變怪物觸手。歡樂愉快地看每一集﹐嘻嘻哈哈笑一大餐看過便算了。

故事沒有明確主線﹐不過每集的共同主題﹐就是故事中的擦邊黃色笑話。作者拿女主角的巨乳開玩笑﹐簡真到了出神入化的景界。第一季十二集﹐差不多集集也有開巨乳的玩笑﹐從扎胸谷腦到巨乳甜品﹐無一不讓觀眾捧腹大笑。其中最搞笑是反轉常理的服務鏡頭﹐從原本偷窺女主角洗澡﹐偷天換日變成看大叔出浴。故事雖然很多黃色笑話﹐但總能堅守樂而不淫的底線﹐要不然也不能在兒童時段播放了。

Babylon A.D. 巴比倫密碼

Babylon AD 每次我為了看電影而看電影﹐不是因為想看某套電影才去戲院﹐總是失望而回看了套爛片。這個幾個星期我在印度工幹﹐週未晚上沒有任何節目﹐幾個同事便決定去看場電影﹐好過留在酒店發霉。幾個男人沒有理由看劇情片﹐對印度歌舞片也興趣不大﹐剩下荷里活動作電影《巴比倫密碼》是唯一的選擇。

這套電影爛得我差不多不想寫影評﹐Van Dissel飾演未來世界的僱傭兵接了一項任務﹐把一個少女從蒙古的修院護送到紐約。至於少女有什麼特別﹐為什麼全世界也在追殺她﹐故事可能有講但我完全看不明白。整套電影的前四分三勉強合格﹐未來世界的頹癈設定很酷。動作場面一場緊接一場﹐酒吧亡命拳擊比賽﹐在結冰海面爭奪偷渡潛艇的位置﹐雪上電單車決戰無人戰機﹐到最後的紐約街頭混戰﹐畫面刺激火爆算是交足功課。不過動作場面之間欠缺連貫性﹐中間亦沒有任何文戲交待戲情。若果只是這些小問題﹐我倒可以忍受動作電影的通病。

可是電影最尾四分一完全急轉直下﹐少女身世之謎下場怎樣﹐觀眾完全不知道。最要命是不見了主角決戰壞蛋那場最終大戰﹐在一場毫不驚險的追車場面後﹐電影忽然完了﹐好像導演錯手把真正的結尾剪掉。完全場開燈時觀眾罵聲四起﹐很久沒有看過一套爛得如些徹底的電影。若果夾硬要找這套電影的優點的話﹐唯一可以說是楊紫的演出不錯﹐飾演養大少女的修女﹐在戲中展露了幾下功夫身手﹐可惜她的角色一出場﹐妨彿在額頭上已寫著會領便當﹐不過她沒有主角般幸運﹐死了就死了﹐ 不會無端端復活。

印度看電影一般很便宜﹐但我們貪過癮﹐要一試超豪華VIP戲院﹐一張戲票差不多要二十美元﹐大約等於平圴印度人一星期的收入﹐或加拿大一張戲票的兩倍價錢。未開場前等入場不用排隊﹐可以在像酒吧的休息室等候﹐有待應送上果汁和汽水。入場後一看﹐被戲院的豪華級數嚇呆了。戲院的大小與平常可以坐百多人的中型戲院相若﹐可是戲院內只有二十四個坐位﹐全是電動升降椅背的真皮梳化。每張梳化間有張小桌子﹐桌上有個電鈴可以用來召喚服務員﹐隨時送上飲品爆谷小吃。音響當然是無敵強勁﹐大慨除了IMAX外﹐我未去過有更好音效的戲院。雖然電影真的夠爛﹐但我不會高喊退票回水﹐因為享受超豪華戲院﹐已經完全值回票價。

Watching Cricket

Cricket to Indians is like hockey to Canadian. The Australian team is playing the Indian team in Bangalore this week. A cricket match last 4-5 days, and 8 hours per day. The game will start in the morning, then players will have a lunch break, and the game continue until the evening. Since it would be fun to watch a live cricket game, we decided to try out luck at the stadium after lunch yesterday.

When we arrived at the stadium, the ticket is already sold out. We were a bit disappointed, so the driver offered to help us get some tickets from the scalper. He left the car disappeared into the crowd for a few minutes, then come back with the scalper with him. The scalper is selling us three tickets for 3000 Rupee. We thought its a bit too expensive, so he lower it down to 2000 Rupee. We still think it’s too much and we counter offer him 1500 Rupee. Which is what we original budget for the game. CAD$10 for a few hours of game. Not bad. So we got our tickets, sent our driver away and ready to have some fun.

When we arrive at the gate, we found out the tickets turn out to be used. It’s OK, because the ticket come with the return pass allowing ticket holder go out and get back into the stadium. However we only got two return pass, one return pass is missing. We played dumb with the door man, pulled our innocent tourist card and eventually he let us go inside. When we arrive at the seats, it turns out 2 tickets belong to one section and another ticket belong to another section. Again, we play dumb and pulled our innocent tourist card, all three of us get into the seats. The seats are very good, we were sitting on the 3rd row right behind the camera men. We watched the game until the end of the day, get almost 2 hours of good cricket action. The pace of the game is quite slow, probably it is as exciting as base ball. It really test my patient spending two hours watching the Indian team getting 100 points, trying to catch up with the 450 points Australian team got in the 1st inning.

At the end of the day, every one is happy. The scalper is happy for turning an handsome profit on some garbage paper. The driver is happy for getting a cut from the scalper. We are happy for watching an international cricket game at prime location seats. We get to experienced two India trademark experience first handed in a single cricket game. We got ripped off big time by the scalper and we got bored by watching the endless bowl and bat in a cricket game. One stone shooting down two birds.

Bargaining

As an engineer, a market perfectionist, an inspired to-be-economist, I hate bargaining. Bargaining is a very inefficient way of trade. The sellers use their advantage of having asymmetric information of the transaction price, getting buyers to pay more they should have. In a perfect transparent market, where everyone knows want everyone else pays, there should not be any room for bargaining. Every buyers should get the same good deal at the market equilibrium. Bargaining not only is a waste of time, it also distorting the market price burden the buyers with additional transaction cost. In short, bargaining is evil. In Indian, you simply can’t buy anything without bargaining, that’s another proof Indian culture is backward.

However, for the first time, I find the joy of bargaining. Bargaining is still evil, but at least if you get are lemons, you can still make some lemonade. Here is the story. Today, I went to MG road, the tourist district in Bangalore, with my colleagues to shop for gifts to bring home. On the street, there is a young boy selling wooden chess set. The chess set is not very pretty, the craftsmanship is kinda rough. One of my colleagues is interested to get one for his son, so he asked for the price. The young boy open his offer with 1500 Rupee. We thought we were quite savvy in bargaining, we slash the prince to 1/3 and make him a 500 Rupee counter offer. The bargaining going back and forth for a while, at last the colleague bought the chess set for 600 Rupee. 60% off from the initial price, we thought that was not bad. The boy try to sell another chess set to another colleague, but we just walked pass an interesting shop, so we enter the shop and ignored him.

We spend quite some time in the shop looking at things. To our surprise, when we come out, the boy is still there waiting for us. Trying to sell us another chess set. We keeps saying we don’t want to buy another set. Then the boy slash the price to 500 Rupee, our original offer. Mmm… if things start getting interesting. If he lower the price, it means there is room for more cuts. I decide to test the limit and see how low can I get. Here the games of bargaining begins. I don’t really want the chess set, so I counter offer him 100 Rupee to see what happen. To keep the story short, the boy followed us for the next hour, when we enter a shop, he just waited outside patiently and continue the bargain on our way from one shop to another. At the end, after I had enough fun and it’s almost time for dinner, I settle make a deal with him at 200 Rupee. The money is not really for buying the chess set, rather it is to reward him keeping us entertained for over a hour. It is only 1/3 the price of what my colleague paid! We laughed at the poor colleague for being ripped off the whole night. We joked that we should have a bargaining competition for those come to Bangalore. Everyone has to buy a chess set from MG road and see who is the king of bargaining.

Here is the moral of the story. 1) Counter offering 1/5 is still too high, you should start from 1/10 as the new default value. 2) If the seller agrees to your price, it means your price is too high. You know you can go lower. 3) Time is money, the longer you bargain, the lower the price. If I have enough time, I think I could bargain it down to 100 Rupee. I suspect the boy can sell it for 50 Rupee and still make a profit. 4) Don’t counter offer at once, let him cut the prince first. 5) Bargaining is fun because you can make your over-paid friend looks like a fool! Probably I still have over paid for buying the chess at 200 Rupee, but the bragging right to make fun of your friend is priceless.