Orz

Maybe I am a bit out of date about the internet culture of this generation. I have seen the word “Orz” used here and there, I sort of know it express the feeling of frustration and depression. Today, I finally know its true meaning when I come across the wiki page dedicate to this word. To be exact, “Orz” is a pictograph representing someone down on his knee, defeated, feeling life is totally miserable, and probably yelling “why, why, why me?” sadly. The O is the head, the r forms the upper torse and the arm and the z is the knee on ground. To give a better illustration, to “Orz” is making a pose like the guy in the picture belove. This word can be used as a noun, verb, adjective or even replace a whole sentence. Emoitioncon is really an efficient way to communicate.  It only use 3 characters to express the complex feeling otherwise would require a few paragraph to describe.

Orz

生日快樂

Happy Birthday 看「生日快樂」這套電影的觀眾有兩類人﹐第一類被故事深深感動﹐在散場時還會哭成淚人。第二類人在整套戲中也呵欠連連﹐差點沒有被過慢的劇情悶死﹐很不幸 我是後者。這套電影改編自劉若英的短篇小說﹐不過原著是什麼不重要﹐重要是張艾嘉編劇﹐馬楚成執導。讓我期待著這套電影會是繼「心動」 後﹐另一齣精緻愛情小品的經典。不過很可惜礙於劇本先天性不足﹐這齣電影只能拍出一場場浪漫的情景﹐但觀眾不夠把感情思緒連接起來組成動人的故事。故事主 線沒有預告中細水長流的感情﹐只有兩個感情白痴的主角﹐拖拖拉拉的藕斷絲連長達十年之久。若果最後結局出人意表寓意深長﹐還可以挽救這整套戲的沉悶﹐騙自 己說不是電影拍得不好﹐只是我不懂欣賞。結局竟然是最老土俗套的絕症橋段﹐先前細心經營的淡淡憂鬱氣氛一下子消散了﹐換上防暴警察用催淚彈﹐欺騙眼淺觀眾 的熱淚。

故事內容在電影簡介已經完全交待清楚了﹐古天樂和劉若英在大學時原本是對情侶﹐後來大家出國留學分開了﹐約定每年生日也會向對方說一聲生日快樂。兩 人明明分開了﹐但不知何解又有些暖昧關係﹐仍然喜歡人又不肯說出來﹐硬是要故作瀟灑扮好朋友。兩個人明明已有新的另一半﹐還要當著另一半前邊若無人地調情 ﹐也不怕另一半會吃醋演六國大封相。前半部回憶大學時兩口子的拍拖生活﹐兩個中年人扮年輕裝大學生很嘔心﹐劉若英保養好遠鏡還可以騙到人﹐古天樂則左看右 看也是超齡﹐帶起金絲眼鏡就當有書卷氣﹐不過他演出來似是黑社會姑爺仔多些。男主角古天樂的演出只是一般﹐反正他也只有那個木訥裝帥的模樣﹐唯一演得比較 好就唱歌走音那幾場戲﹐有理由信相那是他真正的歌藝。女主角劉若英的演出則一百分﹐她能演能唱還彈得一手好琴﹐是娛樂圈中少見的氣質型美女。全靠她那聲線 非常優美的獨白﹐金馬演后級演技的內心戲﹐我才沒有在看戲時悶到睡著了。說穿了我看這齣電影﹐一半是因為看張艾嘉﹐另一半就是因為看劉若英﹐聽了主題曲十 分喜歡才想到後補看電影。這電影除了古天樂不行外﹐其他的配角的演出也十分出色。當劉若英父親的吳耀漢﹐當好朋友的曾寶儀和暗戀者的那個男演員﹐雖然出場 不多﹐但都能恰到其份地襯托出那段沒結果的戀情。父親見證女兒感情路上的起伏﹐好朋友嫁人當幸福媽媽與主角的孤獨形成強烈對比﹐暗戀者則是主角二人溝通的 橋樑﹐亦負責在鏡頭外擔當解述。

劉若英在劇中感情生活坎苛可以說是疚猶自取﹐與古天樂拍拖時好端端的要玩分手﹐不是古天樂做錯什麼﹐只是他太受女生歡迎沒有安全感。分手後又要當好 朋友﹐又要掛念著他﹐等待每年那一句生日快樂﹐都不知道她是不是喜歡古天樂。身邊又不是沒有追求者﹐也不是沒有新男朋友﹐古天樂出現時又隨傳隨到﹐連男朋 友也可以不理﹐去追一個不切實際的夢想。偏偏這個夢想不是遙不可及﹐只要她點下頭就可以夢想成真﹐她只是不願意先付出那點的感情。其實古天樂留學回來時就 該馬上捉住他﹐結婚生仔把他縛得死死﹐就不怕沒有安全感了。敝開最尾古天樂忽然患上絕症那段不談﹐他對劉若英其實很自私殘忍﹐明知自己出現會為她帶來困擾 ﹐既然做不成情侶就該安份守已﹐不要再曖暖昧昧的做情聖﹐也不想想這是對新女朋友很不公平。如果最後古天樂不是患絕症死﹐而是乖乖地結婚後從劉若英的世界 消失﹐倒也不失是一個完美的結局。

最後想補充一點﹐在戲中劉若英開Mini Copper﹐我身邊的女性朋友也有開這車。不知道是否感情空虛的單身女性﹐都愛開這型號的跑車﹐把跑車當成男朋友的代替品呢﹖

Kung Hei Fat Choy

Today is the Chinese New Year.  I wish all the readers of my blog a prosperous year of pig.  Here in Vancouver, we don’t really have the atomsphere for celebrating of Chinese New Year, except that the Chinese TV is showing special new year program all day long, the Chinese radio is playing those boring new year songs and we will say “Kung Hei Fat Choy” to friends.  Without the 3 days long public holidays as in HK, the Chinese New Year is just seem like a normal weekend to me. This year is the year of pig, however the TV stations in China refrain from showing the lucky pig on TV.  Out of political correctness, some stupid officials in communist government think showing the sign of pigs will offend the Muslim minority in China, thus may cause social unrest.  First of all, although Muslim regards pig as unholy, the officials are simpily worrying too much.  The enlightened Muslim would know to respect the Chinese culture and lives peacefully in the year of pig.  There may be a few retarded Muslim consider the year of pig offending, but they are the one should change their mind.  The majority should not bend to a few obscured mind minority.  In the matter of fact, other than some random writing from an ancient book, the Muslims has no reason to dislike pig in the first place.  Rather than forbidding showing pigs in TV, the Chinese governmetn should call to moderize Muslim in China, encourage the Muslims to embrace pig by correcting the obvious mistaken teaching regarding pigs in Koran.  Just like we have a chinese style socialism, which is essentially capitalism, we should also have a chinese style muslim, in which the believers can enjoy pork and alcohol.

S60

I have the regular maintance for my Volvo and the dealer gave me a 2007 S60 as the service car.  It is nice able to test drive a S60.  The S60 is smaller than my S70.  Actually it is so small that it doesn’t feel like a Volvo.  The handling and control is very Volvo like, a big car with lots of momentum.  I don’t like the interior design.  The middle section with the radio control panel and gear shift is too big.  The interface for the AC and radio is not very user friendly.  The buttons and knobs are too small and left too much empty space on the panel.  S60 pretend to be stylish by making the top of the car narrower than the body, as a result the inside of the car is not very roomy.  There is a very interesting feature of this car.  There is button to fold down the head rest of the back seats, so it won’t block the rear window.  When the head rest is release by unlocking the spring, so it can snap forward.  If someone is sitting at the back, his head will be spanked.  I tried it during lunch time when I was giving a ride to my friends.  I guess it is quite a useful feature to spank the naugty kids at the back.  In short, I found the S60 is not very comfortable.  Although my S70 is a older model with the box-shape design, I think it is a much better car than the new S60.

Man of the Year 年度人物

Man of the Year 明年二零零八年是選舉年﹐在美國有民主共和兩黨二擇其一的總統大選﹐在香港則有結果內定的小圈子特首選舉。當現實中的選舉是如此般乏味﹐「年度人物」正好填補這個空白﹐讓觀眾看一場精彩的選戰。這齣電影由Robin Williams當主角﹐一看他的名字就知道是套合家歡喜劇。故事的主角是個政治脫口騷的喜劇演員﹐每晚在電視上諷刺事弊博觀眾一笑。他批評美個的兩黨政治忽視人民利益﹐有個現場觀眾簇擁他去參加競選﹐於是我們的喜劇演員搖身一變成為獨立候選人。剛巧這屆大選轉用電腦投票系統﹐陰差陽錯的電腦系統點票出現錯誤﹐讓這個不可能當選的候選人勝出﹐引出連串笑話。

這套電影只是小成本製作﹐沒有特技沒有大場面﹐劇情也頗為牽強胡鬧 ﹐只靠Robin Williams出色的表演帶動氣氛。上半部總統選戰不乏精警對白﹐雖然大部份只是從互聯網抄來的政治笑話﹐但熟悉美國政情的觀眾必會看得捧腹大笑。那些諷刺確能一針見血地指出美國的白痴政治生態﹐引起身受其害又無法改變現狀的觀眾的共鳴。整套電影最抵死爆笑那場戲是統總候選人的辯論﹐主角玩轉原本沉悶的辯論大會﹐兩大政黨的候選人被他的搶白氣得七孔生煙。電影下半部比較遜色﹐主線從大衛挑戰巨人的總統選舉﹐一下子跳到愛情線玩總統捉女仔﹐而那個女仔又恰巧知道電腦出錯大秘密的老土橋段。最後主角選擇愛情放棄總統的寶座﹐向公眾交代因為電腦出錯才能當選的來龍去脈﹐與總統之位擦身而過繼續遊戲人間。

平心而論這部電影拍得只是中規中矩﹐美國上映時的票房也只是成績一般。敝開戲中的笑位的政治笑話外﹐觀眾倒可以幻想著劇中天馬行空的選舉﹐作為對現實政治不滿的宣洩。喜劇演員當上總統也不沒有先例可尋﹐列根就是喜劇演員出身了。若果美國不是規定本土出生的公民才可以選總統﹐大隻佬阿諾辛華舒力加也有可能成為總統。美國的總統舉選雖是由兩大政黨壟斷﹐至少候選人有真材實料要埋牙火併。香港的特首舉選卻像小孩子玩家家酒﹐只差沒有找(北)大人哭訴誰不與誰玩。既然特首舉選要按照劇本演出是不可改變的事實﹐至少可以參考這套電影﹐寫個好看點的劇本﹐讓市民明知是做戲也可以看得開開心心。泛民主派與其推個悶蛋大狀出來參選﹐倒不如名正言順找個喜戲演員來參選﹐必定可以說煲呔出擦火花。可惜香港政治文化不像美國﹐沒有這類嘻笑怒罵的時事評論員。退而求其次找些腦筋快轉數高者﹐如周星馳黃子華陶傑等﹐以增加特首選舉的可觀性。