I went to a funeral tonight, the mother of my girlfriend’s friend had passed away due to cancer. The celemony is held in Catholic rituals. Usually I feel a bit uneasy going to funeral, but today I don’t have such feeling. Probably it is because the funeral is just a mass in the church I used to go to, the only difference is this time we got a corpse. I’m surprise to see that many people come to the service, the church is all packed, almost as crowd as in sunday morning. The old lady passed away peacefully, waited until she met all her loved ones. I think she must be a person to have such a blessed death. In her memorial presenation, it captured her thoughts in her last day. She didn’t question God why he gave her the cancer. Instead she said her life is in the hand of God, and it is already a gift to her to live one more day. Compare to similair sayings I usualy hear from other churches, when they talk about life is in the hand of God in the incident of other’s death. This time the words are from the heart of a suffered person with faith, no one can question her motivation. On the other hand, when someone other than the suffered one say those words, especially to the those who questions God’s about the death, all I can see is just a cold-blooded boiler plate peacher with no love. It’s hard to explain the subtle difference between these two, but that’s my inspiration of the day.
Today someone said I’m an extermist, either I really like a thing or I really hate it. Is it the case that I rarely have an opinion in between, and am I persuadable to one way or another? Maybe I’m much more stubborn than I’d like to admit. Even though my opinions seems very flexible when catagorize according to most people’s mind, but think deeply they are actually very rigid. The underline set of thought process equations and the premises chosen as inputs are carved deep into my mind. I can accept different version of equally inter-exchangable conclusions, but I will reject answers can’t fit to my thinking framework.
I went to confession this morning. It’s the first time I confess in regular church confession hours instead of the unformal confession in the yearly church camp. I have to confess all sins because I am taking theLife in Spirit Seminar, and in order to receive the holy spirit this friday I have to make lots of preparation. I had recite prayers everyday. I’m afraid I have recited more prayers in the past week than I had in my whole life. (Well… prayers in school doesn’t count) I don’t really know what the LSS will lead me to, but one thing I’m pretty sure is that I don’t want to be yet another lame charismatic christians I look down on. It would be cool if God can turn me into a new hybrid of charismatic and liberal christian. Isn’t it an interesting use of tongue to drive the reform and progress of the church instead of clinging to the old days?
Today I had my second run with my new ski. It’s great! I feel much better this time than last time, I guess my boots is settling in and my muscles is more used to the ski motions. It’s a bit unusal that today only four of us went to Whistler, and all of us are pretty good skiiers! Without being drag down by the slower boarders and girls, we are able to conquer both Black Comb and Whistler mountain in one day. It’s a great accompishment for myself. The only drawback is the snow condition is not perfect, there are some icy runs in the middle of the mountain. Very satisfying and tired today, gota sleep now.
In macrosopic level, after the forth round laid off last week and mass exodus followed by the end of ESPP period, the company is in totall disarray. There are many projects seriously under resources and they have to cancell other projects in order to staff them. In microsopic level, after rushed to finish the vector I assignmed to do yesterday, I thought I can catch my breath and take some easy time until the project tape out. Suddenly I got drafted to deal with another road-block vector today. The work should be done 2 weeks ago and everybody simply ignore it until the last minute. When something breaks, they just put more people to rush it throught. What’s the use of the CEO peaching the ideals from “Good to Great”, if everyone underneath is doing otherwise? Sigh… Now I have to work O.T. this sunday.
Last night I had a weird dream. In the dream Pat was told she is not ready to baptised in the Life in the Spirit yet. I thought probably I’m not ready if she is not. Then I was told I’m ok and asked to be Pat’s sponser.
I don’t quite like the idea of blogging a few years back then. I thinked homepage is a homepage, dairy is a dairy, journal is a journal; what’s the point of mixing them up? Gradually more anad more people keep their own blog and I sorta change my attitude towards it. Finally I came to a point realizing blog just as a CMS (content management system) to keep track of daily writing, and decided to join the dark side of bloggers. I just installed this blog system, WordPress, after seeing a live demo from my friend. I hope to write something down everyday as a way to my dump mind. So that I don’t have to dump it to JuJu over our daily phone call and bored her to complain about my uninteresting talks
去年已經說過今年不會去﹐結果又去了。今年也說明年不會去﹐不知明年又會如何呢﹖希望明年可以成行去World Youth Day﹐去完World Youth Day﹐再看看有沒有心情去加西吧﹐說不定又會給女朋友捉入營。不過如果真的成行去了WYD﹐入到加西向別人吹水﹐分享德國之行倒也頗過癮。