Daily Scribble

I joke, therefore I am

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This is the forth speech in the Humorously Speaking manual. The objective of the speech is to open with a self-depreciating joke and use at least two sets of series of jokes in the body.

Many of you may already know I am studying philosophy in SFU part time. I have learned to reason like Descartes, debate like Socrates. I though my arguments are invincible, until I have an disagreement with my wife. She simply says, “Honey, you are wrong.”

Dear Mr. Chairman, fellow toastmasters. I joke, therefore I am. Many people think philosophy is useless, boring and difficult. The mafia boss gives offers no one can reject, a mafia boss who studies philosophy gives offers no one can understand. I was a curious little boy since I was young. I like to answer weird questions like, Is there a God; What is good and evil; Do I exist? When my mom annoyed by my questions, she would just told me to shut up. Later when I grew older, I found all those questions all under a discipline called philosophy. Philosophy means the love of wisdom literally. I found philosophy very interesting and thought provoking.

The first course I took in philosophy is the history of philosophy. I learned philosophers from Plato to Aristotle, Descartes to Hume, Kant to Hegel. If you asked me what do they have in common? They are all dead. I learned that for every great philosopher, there exists an equal an opposite philosopher; and both of them are wrong. I did not get the answer for my questions, instead I got ten different answers and why each of them is wrong.

I still could not answer my questions, but I learn a few things about philosophers. I learned Occam shaves with a razor; Hume eats with a fork and Russell’s teapot is lost in space. I know Schrodinger has a cat, Pascal is addicted to gambling and God said Nietzsche is dead.

The mind-body problem always intrigue me. How do I know I really exists, not merely a brain living in a test tube hook up to the Matrix? I took a course in metaphysics to find the answers. Metaphysics means studies beyond our physical world, question the foundation of reality. In the end I figured out the answer to the mind-body problem. What is a mind? No matter. What is a body? Never mind.

Recently, I took a course in ethics to learn what is right from wrong or how to argue a wrong is a right. In the class, I learned different ethical theories. Aristotle said doing good is a virtue; Kant said doing good is our duty; Locke said doing good is having a good end result; Hobby said doing good is like we agree not to kill each other. I am a bit confused where ethics comes from. As an engineer, I know electricity comes from electron, so morality must comes from morons.

Although I am inspired to become a philosopher, but I end up being an engineer. Do you know what is the difference between a philosopher and an engineer? About 80k per year. Philosophers think hard on many great questions of all time. They think about the meaning of life, the dilemma of truth, the existence of the world, but they forgot the most important question: How to make a living?

The philosophy department in SFU is having a meeting. Suddenly an angel appears in the room in front of dean of the philosophy department and says, “I’ll grant you whichever of three blessings you choose. Wisdom, beauty or ten million dollars.” Without hesitation, the professor chooses wisdom. There is a flash of lighting, the professor is transformed, but then he just sits there, staring down at the table. One of his colleagues whispers, “You have great wisdom. Say something!” The professor says, “I should have taken the money!”

Product Reviews

Campbell Hausfeld 1/3-HP 3 Gallon Air Compressor

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This Campbell Hausfeld is an entry level air compressor. It is on sales at Canadian Tires with 50% off the regular price. Campbell Hausfeld made professional air tools. According to online reviews, this model is better than Canadian Tire’s own Mastercraft air compressor or other made-in-China no-name brands. The box comes with basic accessories, 25′ air hose, 2 adapters, inflation needles for soccer and tires, air seal tapes and a blow gun.

When choosing an air compressor, the size of the gas tank, how much horse power of the motor is irrelevant. The most important number is the SCFM (standard cubic feet minute) rating of the compressor that measures the airflow. The higher the number means the air compressor can output more air. Usually, a sander needs 6-8 SCFM, a spray gun needs 1-2 SCFM. My unit only has 0.5 SCFM@90PSI, so it is not powerful enough to drive more demanding air tools like spray guns or sanders. It is good enough to drive airbrush (0.2 SCFM) and nail guns if you don’t fire too rapidly. Or you can simply use it as an old fashion hand pump to refill tires or use it as a replacement of canned compress air for cleaning.

All air compressor are noise. According to the online specification, the noise level is 96dB when the motor is running. I have to wear ear mug to protect my hearing when using the air compressor. It takes about 5 minutes to fill the gas tank to 100 PSI. A full tank is good for 2 car tires or 30 seconds of maximum continuous blowing. (For those who are interested, 3 gallon roughly equals to 0.5 cubic feet. In theory the gas thank should last a minute, but after 30 seconds the air pressure is too low to be useful.) When the air pressure in the tank drops too low, the motor will kicks in and refill the tank. It’s really powerful blowing dust and dirt trapped in cracks. It is also handy in blowing dust on things too fragile for a duster. Having an air compressor is more cost efficient than buy canned compress air, which costs

Here is some maths for those who are interested. A can of 10oz Dust-off costs $6. The content is not air but a chemical called difluoroethane(R152A) with density 2.7014 g/L (from Wiki). A can of Dust-off has about 28 gallons of gas when the chemical is expanded in room temperature. Dust-off blast the gas at 60PSI, so a 10oz can last less than a minute. Oh! Did I mention difuoroethane is an areosol that can produce psychoactive effects and stupid teenagers stiff it to get high and kill their brains? Having an air compressor not only is cheaper in a long run, but also more healthy or maybe even more environmental friendly.

Too bad that the unit does not come with a nail gun. Now I am looking forward to get a nail gun when it is on sale. I still have to do more research about what type of nail gun I need. I think I only need a finishing nail gun, since I am not going to built any frame, dry wall or roof. I would like to have a dual use nail/staple gun and that would be handy.

Daily Scribble

My first home project, install window blinds

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Since I bought a place, I am learning to to become a handy man. Today I just under took my first home renovation project, install window blinds in the garage window. We are replacing the generic flimsy generic vinyl blinds come with the house with wooden shutter blinds. It took me a whole night to dismount the old blinds on the ground floor using hand screw driver, then I bought my impact driver and took down the blinds on the second floor in 15 minutes.

Now I have lots of unwanted blinds and I wonder what I should do with them. I put them up on Craigslist, but so far no one is interested. I notice the garage has a window but it has no blinds. Everyone walking by can peak inside my garage. I figured that if I can take down the blinds, I would put it back up, so I recycle one of the old blind to the garage window. This time I am powered with a powerful hammer drill and an impact driver. Still it took me an hour to figure out how to use those tools.

First, I have to mount the bracket. I have to drill the pilot hole for the screw then use the impact driver to secure the screw. Somehow there are lots of metal around the window frame, I tried a few times before finding some wood to mount the bracket. After the bracket is mounted, the rest is pretty easy. I just have to put the blinds in the bracket and close the cover. I pulled and released the blinds a few times to test it won’t fall down.

I can safely practice my handy man skill in the garage, since even I screw up, my wife won’t complain. Now I have completed my first project successfully, I have more confidence move to more complex tasks. I have a few projects in my mind. The next one in the pipeline is to to install pull out and rotation shelves under the kitchen cabinet. After that I am going to install the closet storage systems. The most challenging project will be building wall mounted shelves for garage.

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Gut worms protect against allergy

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Should I swallow some hookworms to cure my allergies and asthma?

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Product Reviews

Brother PT-1100SBVP P-Touch Scrapbooking Labeler

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Yes, it’s pink. No, I am not gay. I bought a pink hand held label printer. We need a label printer for our new house. This one is just too good a deal to pass. There are only two major brands of label printer, Dymo and Brother. When I think of label, I think of Dymo first. The old fashion emboss tape machine everyone has one when we are kids is too inefficient, so I am looking for an electronic label printer. Dymo is more expensive, but it has less function. It only support 12mm tapes, so I ruled it out.

Staples is having Brother label printer on sales, all models are 50% off. I don’t need a fancy business model with useless features. My choices come down to the entry level P-Touch series. There is one normal label printer in blue and gray color or the PT-1100SBVP scrape booking special in pink. Both of them have identical hardware and are selling at $25. The normal unit comes with only a 4m sampling tape. The pink unit comes with a 4m sampling tape, a 8m real tape, 6 Duracell AAA batteries and a carry case.

A replacement tape is selling for $20 in Staples. A pack of 8 Duracell AAA batteries is selling $12 in Staples. The extra tape and the batteries come with the pink unit already worth more that its cost. On a side note, the label printer company use razor and blade business models. The printer is pretty much give away for free and they make money on selling the tapes. Of course you can always buy cheaper online for about $12 a tape.

It is an obvious choice which model should I get. As a pragmatic engineer, function triumphs the appeal. I swallow my masculine pride and by the pink label printer. Luckily, I am a married men and my wife love scrap booking. There is no way the pink label printer will go into my tool box. It is a gift for my wife so she can use it in her scrap book. The pink label printer fits well with her scrap booking supplies. When I need to print a type, I can borrow my wife’s pink scrap book label printer.